Does this dude even have a mother? Sounds like he's dropping some pretty serious hints here... Looks like it's back to the States!

What is this cary7 comedy hour? The guy clearly wants out and both of them should go through pain only once, not once for the death and once for the breakup. The only factor that might make sense for her to stay is if she has developed a close bond with the boyfriend's mother, but I don't think that's the case. I don't know why the writer says that men are clueless this way. I can imagine no circumstance in which my mother was dying and that I wouldn't want my girlfriend around because I didn't have enough love to go around.

From what I gather, your relationship moved past the honeymoon stage & now, you're in the "Make it/Break it" phase...but is this b/c she's ill? Making such decisions are not advised as a reaction to her lung cancer diagnosis.

I wanted to emphasize what he says, here, b/c this explains my husband's reaction to his father's lung cancer diagnosis:
"We do know what we feel. We just don't want to be feeling it. It is grief, confusion, fear, sadness, anger and a whole host of anticipatory feelings that we're not going to enjoy feeling when they happen any more than we're enjoying them now but we sure know they are coming down the track just like the grim reaper himself."

And, my husband spent so much energy on his mother, his father, his brother, that his true grief is only a second thought, why this is a long, uncertain journey.

Of course, if it is a negative/toxic/codependent relationship, you'd do well to leave---but really think things out, talk with him. Best, Golightly